The Florida Vacation

 

With the FINAL draft out the door, this was the LAST cut.

I hated to cut this scene because Joel is just so darn cute. However, Bobbi's remembrance of the event in Chapter 24 was enough. The scene does give you a little insight into Chuck though. He wasn't always the bad guy. He does have a good heart. He just got way off track chasing status and success.

 

 

Bobbi stretched her legs out on the lounge chair and lay her book aside. She wasn’t reading it, anyway, and wondered why she even brought it to Florida.

“Mom! Watch me!” She waved as Brad bounced, then twisted himself off the diving board into the hotel pool. Even with all of Disney World just a monorail ride away, Brad insisted on a daily swim. The eight-year-old swam like a fish, and Chuck never strayed more than ten yards away from him there in the deep end, but he looked so small.

Four-year-old Joel was a different story. He seemed perfectly content to play with his truck here by her lounge chair. “Don’t you want to go swim, Baby?” She pushed her sunglasses up so he could see her eyes.

He shook his head without looking up.

“I’ll go with you.”

“No, thanks.”

“Sit with me a minute.” She moved her legs and patted the chair. Joel climbed up beside her. “What scares you about the water?”

He turned his head slowly toward the pool. “It’s too big.”

“The pool’s too big?”

“No, the water.”

“You mean it’s too deep?”

He nodded. “I’ll go down, and I can’t see nuffin, and I can’t get back out, and I’ll drowned.”

She pointed to the shallow end. “It’s not over your head down there. Just up to here.” She drew a line across his chest with her finger.

“But if I fall down, it’ll be to here.” He stretched his little hand as high over his head as he could reach.

She glanced behind her and saw Chuck pulling himself out of the pool. She tossed him a shirt. “You’re gonna get burned. Those pecs haven’t seen the sun in a while.”

“Thank you for saying that I still have pecs.”

“Not as defined as they used to be, but still there.”

He pulled the shirt over his head and down across his chest. “Ready for a swim, Buddy?”

Joel shook his head and gripped the edge of the lounge chair.

Chuck knelt in front of the boy. Water dripped from his trunks making a growing puddle under him. “Do you like jumping on the bed?”

Joel looked around at his mother, then cupped a hand around his mouth, and nodded.

Chuck smiled. “How about if I get in the water, and you jump, just like you’re …” He raised his hand, and whispered, “Just like you’re jumping on the bed.” He dropped his hand. “And I’ll catch you.”

“In the water?”

“Yeah! You’ll make a big splash. It’ll be great.”

“But I’ll go down.”

“I’ll catch you, Buddy.” Chuck reached out a hand. Joel looked at Bobbi, then at the pool, and finally slipped his hand in his daddy’s.

“You watch, Mommy.”

“I will, Baby.” Watching Chuck and the boys together all week was the highlight of the trip for her. For six days now, the words ‘case’ or ‘client’ or even ‘work’ had not come out of Chuck’s mouth. Maybe now that he made partner, the pressure was off. He laughed. He rode every ride. He bought ice cream and cheap souvenirs. He had transformed into super-dad, and she fell in love with him all over again.

Chuck slid into the water and motioned for Joel, but the little boy backed away. “Joel, I’ll catch you. You can do it.”

Joel paced along the side of the pool, never taking his eyes off the water, Chuck calling his name the whole time. Finally, he inched his toes over the edge of the pool. He rocked back and forth twice, and stepped off the edge into Chuck’s arms. And Chuck let him go under.

Bobbi saw Joel’s mouth open before his head broke the surface of the water, and a loud wail caused parents all over the pool deck to look up. She ran to the side of the pool to scoop Joel up, but Chuck raised a hand to stop her.

“Joel, Joel, look at me.” Chuck pried the boy from his shoulder. “I had you the whole time, Joel. I wasn’t going to let anything happen to you.” He wiped the tears from Joel’s cheek, and pushed the hair back from his eyes. “I don’t want you to be afraid. I don’t want you to be afraid of anything.”

“But I went down,” Joel snuffed.

“And I never let go, and you came back up.”

 

Enhanced by Zemanta
Contingency
606 N. Cross St RobinsonIL62454 USA 
 • 618-544-5757

Chuck Tells His Mother He Plans to Marry Bobbi

 

And now with the FINAL version of the book out the door I have two more deleted scenes. This is a flashback of a conversation between Chuck and his mother in which he announces his plan to marry Bobbi. She is shocked by the quick decision. The key is Ann's last line. "Feelings change." If her son's relationship is built solely on emotional attraction, it's doomed.

 

 

Chuck stopped in the kitchen just long enough to kiss his mother on the cheek before charging toward the back door.

“Hold up! Where are you headed?” She dried her hands on a dishtowel, then tossed it onto the counter.

“Got a date, Mom. Bobbi and I are going to the lake.”

“You’ve been out with her every night this week.” She reached up and straightened Chuck’s collar, and he rolled his eyes. Time was wasting.

“July’s almost over, and I’m leaving in three weeks. I want to see her as much as I can.”

“What’s going to happen when you have to leave her behind?”

“I’m not.” He crossed his arms across his chest. He was going to have to tell her, and there wouldn’t be a quick exit after that.

“Chuck?”

“I’m gonna marry her. I’ve already bought a ring.”

“Have you lost your mind? You barely know this girl. I barely know her.”

“This is a God-thing. I’m sure she’s the one.”

“She’s a very sweet, wonderful girl. I’m not disputing that. You said she’s going to Missouri?”

“She’s got a full ride to the branch here in town. She didn’t want to leave her dad.”

“Even so, what happens if she meets another boy there, and here you are hundreds of miles away? It will break your heart.”

“It would break my heart, but she won’t. She loves me.”

“And you know this because?”

“She told me.”

“That’s not enough.” She smiled and patted his arm. “Romantic love feels wonderful, Chuck, but it takes more than that to make a life together. Feelings change.”

 

Enhanced by Zemanta

Phil’s Doctor Called

 

At the tail end of Chapter 23, this little scene tipped my hand. It took the SHOCK out of Phil's death (although I figured it was obvious anyway). However, it was a non-Chuck/Bobbi scene, so it didn't make it through editing. As a result, the reader is as stunned as the characters are by Phil's massive stroke.

 

 

Phil thanked God that Donna was waiting for him when he got home. Her smile, her touch was worth the world to him.

“How’d it go?” she asked after greeting him with a kiss.

“Not so good.” He slipped into an easy chair. “I feel like we’re back to square one. It was like the first night when she told him she hated him.”

“Oh no. What happened?”

“We got to the ‘why’ today. It was ugly.” He rubbed his temples. “Maybe I should get them another counselor.”

“You can’t send them to someone else when you’re so close to a resolution.”

“I’ve told them all I know,” he said. “Bobbi is still so hurt and angry, maybe more so now after all these months. I feel like a failure.”

Donna knelt down and took his hands in hers. “You’re not a failure. You’re on the brink of great success with Chuck and Bobbi. I’m sure of it.”

Phil shook his head and smiled at his wife. “Thanks.” He looked over and noticed the blinking light on the answering machine. “Who called?”

“Your doctor.” Donna’s smile faded. “The clots haven’t changed. He still thinks surgery is too risky, but he’ll refer you if that’s what you want. He said to have you call him when you got home.”

Chuck’s Morning Run

 

 

In Chapter-23, Chuck originally had this opportunity to think things through, but all that thinking slows the action way down.

 

Chuck retied the laces on his running shoes, and turned on the Weather Channel before heading outside. “Thirty-nine,” he mumbled. “Not bad.”

“Goodness, what are you dressed up for?” Ann asked, as she came from the kitchen with a cup of coffee.

“I thought I smelled coffee.” He walked over and kissed her cheek. “I’m going to go run.”

“Run? It’s frigid outside!”

“It’s almost forty degrees. You’ve been in South Carolina too long.”

“Will you be gone long?”

“Half hour, forty-five minutes maybe.”

“Can I borrow your car?”

“Sure.” Chuck disappeared to the bedroom for a moment and returned with his keys. “What do you need?”

“I have some errands to run.”

“On Christmas Eve?”

“Yes, today. Now, since when are you a runner?”

“I’m more of a jogger.”

“Even so. Since when?”

“Since I moved out. I had to do something to keep my sanity, and that’s when God’s been explaining things to me.”

“Then run, by all means, run.” She shooed him away.

Chuck turned back before he got two steps away. “Oh, I forgot to tell you- Walter Davis became a Christian after the Christmas party. He wanted to talk to Bobbi and me. He couldn’t figure us out.”

“And you got to explain it all to him?”

“Yeah, I can’t believe God let me do it,” Chuck said. “I felt like He let me back in the family.”

“You were never out of the family. God’s or mine.”

“That’s good to know.” Chuck hugged his mother. “I’ve got a key,” he said as he left. Stretching and loosening his muscles, he recited as much of the Thirty-seventh Psalm as he could remember. The cool air filled his lungs, and at the end of the block, he began to run.

Dear God, I forget how many people I hurt, and all of them are so innocent. I ruined Thanksgiving for my mother, and she almost missed Christmas…

Bobbi did so well at the Christmas party… We were husband and wife again. God, it felt so good, so natural. She had to notice that. And Walter, letting us be part of that… Lord, I don’t think You could be any clearer with Your approval.

Bobbi invited me to spend the night, but there’s still something there. Something paralyzing her. What do I need to do to reassure her?

‘For evildoers shall be cut off; but those who wait on the Lord, they shall inherit the earth.’

Psalm 37. Okay, I get the message. Keep waiting. But God, please, help her see that I belong at home. We belong together.

 

Enhanced by Zemanta

Gavin and Chuck Shop for a Christmas Tree

 

 

 This is not a true cut. Much of this material made it into the rewrite of Chapter-20, but the new version is much tighter.

 

“Danny sends his eternal thanks to you for coming with me and giving him a break,” Gavin said, as Chuck climbed into his SUV. “Of course, you understand that if Rita doesn’t like the tree, it’s all your fault.”

“What else is new?” Chuck said, buckling his seat belt. “Where are we headed?”

“There’s a farm up in Lincoln County we always buy from.” Traffic moved at a brisk clip through the center of town, and thinned out once Gavin got to the two-lane county road. “How’s Bobbi?”

“She went back to work this week, but there’s still something hanging over her. When I went to tell her about the lawsuit, I got no reaction out of her at all. You have any ideas what the problem could be?”

“You.”

“Me? But I fixed this.”

“Not yet, you haven’t. I made you mad that day on the golf course when I suggested there was more to your affair than just sex. Has Bobbi asked you why you cheated?”

Her agonized words echoed in his head. Until you understand what you were looking for, what kind of connection you made with that woman, I can’t trust you. “Yeah, we’ve discussed it,” Chuck said.

“I know you’re frustrated, and you feel like she’s being difficult, but there’s a method in what she’s doing.”

“Then enlighten me.”

“Trust is the key issue here, right?” Gavin glanced at him, and waited for a nod. “Even if she forgives you, and you reconcile, Bobbi will not go back to the way things were before…”

“I understand that. I’ve changed…”

“You have. I’m not denying that. I think Bobbi wants you to spell out what you wanted from Tracy so she knows you came up with it on your own. She won’t believe you if she thinks you’re parroting somebody else’s idea.”

“But I don’t have the answer, so we’re stuck for who knows how long.”

“Not necessarily. What’s Phil doing with you?”

“Making me list everything we’ve ever argued about to see if there’s a pattern.”

“And?”

“It’s mostly stupid stuff.”

“What was the most recent thing? Before the affair?”

“The BMW.”

“Bobbi made you buy it?”

“Funny. She hated everything about that car from the minute we pulled on the lot.”

“That’s significant. Why?”

“We were on our way to a restaurant for her birthday.”

“A little inconsiderate.”

“Yeah…” Chuck stared out the window, trying to recall where they ate dinner that night.

“Wait,” Gavin interrupted. “You bought that car in March. When did Tracy start at the firm?”

“February. Why?”

“You bought that car to impress that woman, didn’t you?” Gavin squinted at Chuck over the rim of his glasses, and he used the tone of voice reserved for the seventh graders who ended up in his office.

Chuck raised a hand to protest, but he knew better. Gavin nailed him. “Bobbi said it sent all the wrong signals. I convinced myself she meant the cost.” By the time he bought the BMW, he’d decided Tracy’s opinion of him was more important than his wife’s. The affair had already begun.

Gavin parked in front of a shed that served as the farm’s office. “You gotta face it, before you can fix it.”

“I’m pathetic.”

“Yeah, you are, but we still love you.” Chuck shook his head. “C’mon. At least take a break from beating yourself up.”