Resources

One of the greatest privileges I've had as a writer is hearing from readers. It is especially humbling when they tell me the stories of how adultery has impacted them personally. If you are one of those, I pray God's comfort as you heal.

I'm not a counselor, so I drew on a number of resources to help build my characters and the counsel they received. These are the ones I came back to most often. I don't have a connection to any of the authors. There may be newer ones just as good or better. (If you know of others, drop me a line and I'll include them as well.)

Torn Asunder

Torn Asunder: Recovering From an Extramarital Affair

Written by respected pastor and marriage counselor Dave Carder, this revised and expanded version of Torn Asunder sorts through the factors that contribute to infidelity and then maps out a recovery process for both partners. With compassion and wisdom rooted in the Bible, Carder offers insight for the victims of adultery, the perpetrators, and those who seek to help hurting couples.

Along the way Carder also answers questions like:

  • Why did this happen?
  • We didn't actually sleep together. Is it still an affair?
  • Can I trust my spouse again?
  • Should I reveal a secret affair?
  • What if my spouse doesn't want me back?
  • What do we tell the kids?

Every Man's Battle

Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (The Every Man Series)

The challenge every man faces…the fight every man can win!
From movies and television, to print media and the Internet, men are constantly faced with the assault of sensual images. It is impossible to avoid such temptations… but, thankfully, not impossible to confront them and gain victory over them!
Millions have found Every Man’s Battle the single greatest resource for overcoming the struggle and remaining strong in the face of temptation. With extensive updates for a new generation, this phenomenal bestseller shares the stories of dozens who have escaped the trap of sexual immorality and presents a practical, detailed plan for any man who desires sexual integrity. 

Includes a comprehensive workbook and a special section for women, designed to help them understand and support the men they love.

 

Every Heart Restored

Every Heart Restored: A Wife's Guide to Healing in the Wake of a Husband's Sexual Sin (The Every Man Series)

Wholeness and Healing for Women Caught in the Crossfire.
As the wife of a man who is addicted to lust, pornography, or masturbation, you are not alone. Millions of men can’t get through the day or the week without clicking on to their favorite Internet porn sites, thumbing through adult magazines, or watching sensual videos–and millions of wives suffer as a result.
Over the past decade, nearly 400,000 men have found inspiration and hope in Every Man’s Battle, the best-selling men’s guide to victory over sexual sin. Now, here at last is the book for every woman who has become a casualty in the fight for sexual purity. Every Heart Restored offers godly guidance and wisdom for a woman facing such personal betrayal.
“What does God expect from me?”
“How can I trust again?”
“Is it possible to overcome pain and unforgiveness?”
“Can my marriage be rebuilt?”
“What if I just want out?”
Filled with stories from wives and husbands at every stage in the struggle for sexual purity, Every Heart Restored addresses the questions and real-life issues that matter to you most. Whether you are facing the startling new revelation of your husband’s sin, dealing with a long-term problem, or cleaning out an old wound, Every Heart Restored will meet you where you are and guide you to healing greater than you imagine possible. 

Sex… According to God

Sex According to GodMy friend, we live in a culture saturated with sex. Everywhere you turn it’s there–discussed, debated, demonstrated, and used to sell anything and everything from cars to shampoo. And the world’s message is loud and clear: You have to be desirable, attractive, and sexy in order to be loved.

But I know far too many people who have been burned by sex–not only as children but as teens and adults–simply because it wasn’t sex according to God’s directions. And that breaks my heart…and His.

Our problem today is that Christians haven’t studied the subject of sex in the Bible. That’s why I am so excited about this book. Here is the truth about sex–sex according to God, the one who created it. 

You and I are going to discover all that God has to say about sex in the Old and New Testaments. You are going to have answers to your questions about sex and solutions to your problems with sex. Together, we’re going to learn for ourselves what the Creator has to say about His creation. You’ll encounter truths that will enable you to enjoy and experience all that God intends in the incredible experience of becoming one flesh physically with your husband or wife. And you’re going to know how to conduct yourself until you get married, or if you never marry.

You are going to learn so much, my friend, that God is going to use you in a significant way to help others in these difficult days. This could be the most powerful, most liberating study you’ve ever undertaken.
–Kay Arthur